A Life of Pages Waiting to be Filled

" A heart that's hopeful, a head that's full of dreams. But this becoming, is harder than it seems. Feels like I'm looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world."
-- Michael W. Smith "Place In This World"

This past October, I was on retreat with my students and they posed a few questions to me that were repeated a number of times: "What am I supposed to do with my life?" "How do I know if I'm following the right path in life?" "How do I discover God's plan for me?" These college students don't mess around. When they have questions, they have BIG questions. In my experience, these are very common thoughts and concerns by young adults but also of people of every age. Finding our own authentic identity is a crucial task of our lives and something that should never be overlooked or oversimplified. I of course do not have all the answers for these questions, but this is my humble attempt at answering life's big questions concerning purpose and vocation.

The poet William Stafford has a great line that says: "Ask me whether what I have done is my life." At first glance it appears to be a silly proposition but if you let it sit with you for a little while it can become much more thought provoking. Of course what I have done is my life - What else would it be? The life that we live on a daily basis does not always mesh with the life that is calling out to us, a life that wants to live in us. Are we doing what we are supposed to be doing? Am I the person I am meant to be? How can I possibly know the answers? The short answer is to simply listen and be aware of what's happening around you on a day to day basis.

In our world of cell phones, iPods, text messages, and instant gratification at the push of a button, we don't have many moments of silence in our lives. Walk down any street some time and notice how many people are talking on their phones, have headphones on, or texting as they walk. My bet is that it will be a rather high number - especially on a college campus. I am not saying there is anything wrong with doing these things (I have a cell, iPod, and I text), but my point is that we do not ever sit back and listen to what is happening around us. Throughout our busy days, we easily miss the subtleties of life that could be the answers to the aforementioned questions. When discussing this idea, I use the metaphor of praying. I truly believe there are three answers to our prayers: yes, no, & not now. The "yes & no" answers are usually easy to see, but it is the "not now" that either gets misconstrued as a "no" or is not even recognized as such. I have never heard the voice of God literally answering my prayers, but I have noticed interactions with people and various events that occur in my life that serve to function as my answers. But if we do not listen carefully or pay attention to the minutiae, we will miss much. As odd as it may sound, there are actually some wonderful theological reflections in the movie "Evan Almighty." In the movie, Morgan Freeman plays the role of God and discusses prayer and answers to prayer. He says: "When we pray for mercy, are we given mercy or the chance to be merciful? When we pray for courage, are we given courage or the chance to be courageous? When we pray for love, are we given love or the opportunity to be loving?" I think that idea can be applicable in our lives, but if we do not pay attention, we will miss those opportunities.

Vocation follows a similar path - listening to our lives and figuring out what our lives are truly about. The word vocation is always assumed to mean something of a religious nature, but it goes far beyond that. We all have a vocation waiting to be uncovered. The word vocation itself is rooted in the Latin for "voice." It is not merely a goal to be pursued, but a calling that needs to be listened to and heard. We need to figure out who we are before we can attempt to realize what we are meant to do with the life we have been given. We cannot hope to find our own identity by trying to be someone else or forcing a standard of living on to ourselves. We must recognize our individual and unique personhood and respond to that (which can take the course of a lifetime). There is an old Hasidic story that illuminates the importance of becoming ourselves: Rabbi Zusya, when he was an old man, said, "In the coming world, they will not ask me: Why were you not Moses? They will ask me: Why were you not Zusya?" We all have special gifts and talents given to us at birth that are waiting to be found and used. So now the question of "What am I supposed to do with my life?" is replaced with "Who am I?"
"The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves" -- Logan Pearsall Smith

The 19th century Polish poet Cyprian Norwid spoke of purpose in life as well. "To be what is called happy, one should have (1) something to live on, (2) something to live for, (3) something to die for. The lack of one of these results in drama. The lack of two results in tragedy." By our nature, humans need to feel as if they belong to something, that they are needed, and that they are able to contribute to something greater than their own life. This is often addressed by believing in something with great passion and excitement that causes us to dedicate our whole heart to its pursuit. This idea is summed up the idea of Noble Purpose. William Damon describes this idea in his book by the same name and states that the word noble does not need to mean heroic as it often is, but it can be found in mundane familiar acts or our everyday pursuits - another example of listening to our lives! Damon goes on to say that the definition of purpose in systematic research is "a stable and generalized intention to accomplish something both meaningful to the self and of consequence to the world beyond the self." There are two important things to bear in mind at this juncture: (1) Purpose is a goal, but it is of a loftier ideal than simple desires or materialistic goods and (2) Purpose is integral to our personal search for meaning in life but should have an external quality that is the desire to make a difference in the world - to move beyond our own self-interest. Helen Keller said "Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."

So back to the original questions of "What am I supposed to do with my life?" and "How do I know if I'm following the right path in life?" Find something that brings you happiness, joy, and that you truly love to do and run with it. Every single pursuit and purpose in life can be a noble one and there is no telling how are lives and actions will positively affect others. What we may deem as meaningless can be completely meaningful for another. Finally, recognize that our life's purpose may not ever be fully achieved, and that's OK! As long as we are constantly striving for it, learning, growing, loving, and sharing ourselves and our gifts, we are definitely on the right path.

"Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve." - Martin Luther King Jr.